Random Light Bulb Joke

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1. How many can you afford?
2. None, lawyers only screw us.
3. Lawyers don't change bulbs. Now if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb...
4. None, lawyers prefer to keep their clients in the dark.
5. That depends... how many do you want it to take?
6. None, he'll have the paralegal do it. But, you'll get the following bill:

   
        Item                          
     Light bulb
          Charge                           
   $2185
          (Itemization of bill charges)
            Lawyer's time (1 hr. minimum)  
   $ 400
            Connectivity charge            
   $ 100
            Staff charge                   
   $ 250
            Secretary prepared bill        
   $   2
            Research fee                   
   $ 422
            Consulting fee                 
   $ 431
            Paralegal processing fees      
   $  25
            Specialized equipment          
   $ 122
            Bought bulb                    
   $   5
            Overnight express delivery     
   $  34
            Rule 453.957(B)(1) charge      
   $ 394
   

7. It only takes one to change your bulb to his bulb.
8. Three. One to change it and 2 to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection !"
9. Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, and one to sue the ladder company.
10. Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.
11. Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services. (another huge answer is at the bottom of this file.)

The source code is available as well.
I have a whole collection of light bulb jokes. You should check it out!